the Coterie

I'm in a very cranky mood today. I shouldn't be - my train was cancelled at Jamaica and they told us to wait for the 8:25, but then had an interim train stop at my stop and a lady gave me her seat since she was getting off at Forest Hills, so I didn't even have to stand on the very crowded train and I made it to work at my usual time.

I also got a surprise extra payment from work today because they are changing the PTO policy and paying out all banked PTO in excess of a certain number of hours and I exceed that number by a bit, so I got a nice check, but the net is only half of what the gross is, thanks to taxes and other payroll deductions. Sigh. And they say I will still accrue my usual amount of PTO, but I wonder what the new policy is going to be - I have a feeling they are going to limit carryover time, or perhaps require that it be used by the end of the first quarter of the next year. I guess we'll see. There's other work bs happening too, but ugh. I do not want to attend a half day meeting to input updates in real time. That is not one of my skill sets and the whole thing is going to be terrible. I wonder if they'll buy me lunch though.

speaking of, I got a nice gift card for Administrative Professionals Day today that I was supposed to pretend I didn't know about even though boss3 checked with me to see if people had liked it last year (spoiler: they had). It's also my dad's birthday, and my gmail inbox is full of advertisements for mother's day so I just want to be all LEAVE ME ALONE - MY PARENTS ARE DEAD about things. I know, I know. But it's how I feel.

Anyway, I guess it's reading Wednesday, but since I was off Thurs-Mon, I didn't really do much book-reading; I spent my days off reading fic instead, so I have nothing new to report. Still reading Amnesty, still ( spoilers )

Meanwhile, my filters grow tighter and my blacklist longer as I try to stay unspoiled until Saturday when I finally see Endgame. I do not want to know!

Also, I am still annoyed that there is no ability to wrap tabs in Firefox. I really hate that they just scroll off screen. It is not optimal when I open a dozen stories to read later and then can't find the tab looking for at any given moment.

Have a poem:

The Price Is Going Up
by Ashe Vernon

My heart likes to start fights with
the inside of my ribs where everyone loses.
For weeks, my lungs have been
purple punching bags. My stomach
is being polished into a wood panel floor.
I'm selling tickets to my own heartbreak.
Blood and broken noses are what put
bodies in the seats.
These are real bar brawls, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing is staged, here. Sure,
there have been a few–
accidents.
The kind of hits you don't get back up from.
But that's the price of business, isn't it?
And don't you want a show?"

***

Being on vacation for 3 days means work is hectic* so let's be cliched and do some Shakespeare today:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

-William Shakespeare
From The Tempest, Act 4 Scene 1

*( cut for more detailed work ranting )

***

So during my time off, I was reading this long, plotty (and complete!) Bat-fic, which will be recced at some point, and I know this is more about my personal bias than the story, but ( cutting for spoilers even though I'm not linking to it right now )

It's just interesting to be reminded that we all bring our own lenses to stories and it's not the stories' fault, necessarily, when the author is doing something different from what we thought because of those lenses.

***

Last night, the handle on my toilet stopped working, so this morning I called the super, and he just left after replacing the diaphragm (it's a tankless toilet - not my choice, it's what was here when I bought the place) so it all works again. Whew.

I know, it's an exciting life I lead. *hands*

Have today's poem:

Each From Different Heights

That time I thought I was in love
and calmly said so
was not much different from the time
I was truly in love
and slept poorly and spoke out loud
to the wall
and discovered the hidden genius
of my hands
And the times I felt less in love,
less than someone,
were, to be honest, not so different
either.
Each was ridiculous in its own way
and each was tender, yes,
sometimes even the false is tender.
I am astonished
by the various kisses we're capable of.
Each from different heights
diminished, which is simply the law.
And the big bruise
from the long fall looked perfectly white
in a few years.
That astounded me most of all.

--Stephen Dunn

***