miintikwa: (Default)
Please visit my website Owl Takes Flight for more information about my tarot readings!

Feel free to ask questions here, or send me email if you need privacy for your questions.


The readings I offer:

Healing Reading -- $75
This two-part tarot reading will help you to find where you need healing, and help you with guidance and meditation while you walk the path of healing your wounds. Requires a short, real-time consultation for the first part of the reading, which can be done via email or chat (email preferred).

Five Questions -- $50
A special reading where you ask five questions and I tell you the answers that the cards give me, using as many cards as is necessary. This reading must be done real-time, and I will do it via email or chat.

Three Questions -- $30
A special reading where you ask me three questions and I give you the answers that the cards give me, using as many cards as is necessary. This reading must be done real-time, and can be done via email or chat.

Life Compass Reading -- $45
An interactive tarot reading that will help you in finding your true career path, or verify that you're on the right path. This reading needs to be done in real time, and can be done via email or chat.

Romance Reading -- $30
An interactive 2-part tarot reading that can help you to find your best romantic partner. We will discuss what you need, and what kind of partner will best help you find your highest good. This reading can be done via email or chat.

Compatibility Reading -- $25
A tarot reading that delves into your romance issues. We will look at your partnership, and what hidden issues you and your partner may need to resolve. This reading is generally done via email.

Wheel of the Year Reading -- $30
A special reading that I have developed that tells you about your life for the next year. I'll tell you what to watch out for during the current month, and then give you a general overview for the next 11 months.

Seasons of Life Reading -- $30
A special reading that I have developed which tells you about your life for the next few months. Tells you what to expect in the near future, and what difficulties, if any, you'll have to face. Will also tell you hidden problems that may crop up in the near future.

Animal Spirit Reading -- $25
A special reading that I have developed that will give you messages from your specific animal spirit guides. This reading can tell you about long term or short term animal guides, and will help you untangle the messages from your guides.

Celtic Cross -- $25
This is the standard, general life reading. If you wish to have guidance for the near future, or simply know what the tenor of your life is, this is the best reading for that. It is also excellent at answering specific questions in detail.

Past Life Reading -- $30
This reading will give you the details of who you were, where you lived, and what lessons you brought from that life. It will also give you a Soul Message, that can help you with this current life.

Six Card Reading -- $10
Can be a modified general life reading, or can be "two paths" telling you what you are facing now and the two paths you can take regarding this problem.

Three Card Reading -- $5
Can be the usual past/present/future reading, or can be "Three Answers," depending on what you need and request.

Paypal and email questions can be sent to deyaniera at gmail dot com. Thank you. I'll do the readings as soon as possible, always! If you do not receive a response in 3 days, please comment here!
miintikwa: (Default)
Finally got in touch with Mom. Yay. Asking Mike about that caused him to have a mini-meltdown at me, but it opened the gates for some good conversation and that was helpful on both sides, I hope. He is fine with me not coming up, and is focusing on trying to be there for his mom-in-law. (Sis-in-law, Debbie, had a brother who died in '09. To say her Mom isn't doing well is an understatement of epic proportions.)

I reminded him to eat and to take care of himself. He said Chuck (eldest brother) is helping, and that is good.

Mom is likely going to be flogging herself for not being able to be there, but I will have words with her when I can. Because it's not about her, and that's going to be hard to say-- but to protect Mike I will say it if I have to.

I'm currently doing lots of praying for my brother and his mom-in-law. And doing a lot of "no, it's none of your damn business" at people for whom this is just drama fodder. Feh. Assholes.

Tragedy seems to bring out the assholes in droves. I am irked at the ones trying to prey on my brother. And even more determined that I want to be cremated, have my ashes scattered, and have my peeps have some kind of online party to celebrate my life. Because fuck all of this torture that my poor brother is dealing with.

On the plus side, he has reconsidered his choice to delete her FB page. Ironically, this caused another meltdown. I asked him if he was going to do the memorial thing FB allows, and he just crashed. Because he'd wanted to delete it, but Debbie wanted it memorialized, and he was all "I'm being selfish" and just... augh. I did a lot of verbal petting and "it's ok" and then told him he was going to have to be selfish a little, to get through it.

I shall continue being the voice of reason and comfort as I can. And have my meltdowns here, where it's safe.

My sister in law's photo on her obituary page is perfection. She was so beautiful. Fierce and determined, protective of her people and incredibly stubborn and opinionated. I will miss her forever.
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In a day or two, I will be deleting my permanent account at Livejournal. If you are reading this there, I would ask that you contact me via email (deyaniera AT email DOT com), facebook (facebook.com/miintikwa), or Dreamwidth. Because I no longer trust Livejournal to keep my content safe. I have already deleted most of my images that were there, and I've archived and imported all my entries.

It's probably past time to let go of it. I am sad, but I am also resigned.

I hope most of you will come with me to DW or elsewhere.

If not, I wish you well.


Jan. 30th, 2017 03:14 pm
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So, I am still alive! I am finding it difficult to maintain the energy to communicate in my usual formats (i.e., here) because it's exhausting trying to be ME every day. I am trying to make phone calls to the congress critters and aid the resistance movement...but damn. Every day, something else hits the fan and makes me go "WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" and...

...gah. I don't wanna live on this planet any longer. I keep trudging along, but I swear, I envy my BFF who spends most of his days asleep due to the meds he's on. I'd much rather be sleeping, lately. It's too much, some times. And I feel like I'm using a spritzer on an inferno, and I am often sad.

All that said, I'm trudging on with my plans. Books should be up on Amazon this week. I'm planning announcements as soon as they are, and I'm hoping to add to the list. I'm working on the next 2 tarot books, hoping to get one finished and ready for publishing in Feb. And then the next will be put on the schedule for March.

Patreon continues apace. I WISH I was a better marketer. -.- I know I could be reaching more people, but I don't know how. It is frustrating and makes me sad. But I will continue to beg my Patrons to pimp me, and hope that someone else hears about it and joins. I feel like I should put an upper limit on it, like "if [goal] doesn't happen by [date] I will stop," but I am enjoying the cards, and exploring the gods and goddesses. And it feels arbitrary to do that. I'm going to try to streamline the process, so it isn't costing me in time and energy as much. If I can do that, then I'll just keep doing it. If not, I'll look at what changes I need to make in order to streamline. Because that will make a huge difference. I want to get back to work on the writing.

Speaking of the writing, I should get back to that. The tarot books need some edits. Oh, and my tarot business needs pimping. Wish me luck.


Jan. 14th, 2017 06:31 pm
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A friend reminded me that while I've been super-active on FB pimping all my stuff, I haven't really done so here except for the Patreon. If you don't want to support the Patreon, though, you can still help me out in other ways!

I have also re-opened my tarot business! My website is back up, and will hopefully be getting a makeover. It is on the list of things to do, but it's not high on the list.

When my books are out again, I'll pimp them too. :) Thank you!
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So, I'm really proud of today's Patreon entry even if it does mean tomorrow's entry is going to change and shift. Though, that's fine because I haven't been doing the editing on my tarot books. Oops. Finding out about the ISBN numbers has kind of derailed me.

I am currently waffling. A fellow self-published author said they started out with Createspace and free ISBNs because they wanted to dip their toe into things, and this was the easiest way to do so. It required the least investment, and they were pleased with how things turned out. Createspace *does* do ebooks on Amazon, after all. I guess I just need to do more homework and figure out what would be best for me now.

Another friend asked about Kickstarter. That's not an option, really, I don't think. Because it requires rewards, and I don't have any rewards to offer. They linked me to the guy who made $20K on his Kickstarter-- but I have read the article he wrote, and after expenses he made very little. I would be terrified that I'd miss something, since I have never done Kickstarter before, and end up upside down. Plus, I have never done a Kickstarter before, and I think that'd hamstring me in several ways: people are reluctant to pledge to a first-timer, and I don't know all the pitfalls. Too much risk, imo.

So, at the moment I'm focusing on the things I can do, and that are able to earn for me. I'm pimping my tarot readings again, and doing the Patreon thing. I'm 1/2 way to goal1, and that's exciting. If goal1 works out, I'll get a new tarot deck to start showing people how to go through them and stuff. That could be awesome.

Anyway. Still working the plan, despite the speed bump I'm trying to get over. I have time. I think that's my best asset right now. Tomorrow is another day. For now, I need to get started on my Thursdaily chores. So I'll catch you all later. <3


Jan. 4th, 2017 11:30 am
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Ran into the first road block today. I am not going to be able to self-publish this month unless things change. But, I'm still going to work the plan I have in place. Just...move "self-publish Tarot for Healing and Fibro for Life" to Feb. Or March. Or whenever we can afford the investment.

I am incredibly frustrated by this, but I knew there would be bumps in the road. I didn't know they'd happen this soon, but...such is life.

I updated my Patreon page and I'm feeling really good about it. I am basically posting every day, trying to show people that there is going to be content and they should totally pay me for it! It's a reasonable cost for what I'm providing, IMO, and I have posts planned out for pretty much every day. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk about my affirmation cards and the one I got for this year and this month, and then Friday will be me talking about the next Tarot book I'm planning on writing. Saturday and Sunday are open at the moment, but I'm half-planning talking about my house and critters. I don't want my Patreon to be all-business all-the-time.

The hard part about it is trying to reach new people. I *know* there are people out there who would like what I'm doing. But how do I get my stuff in front of them? I wish I had a clue there. Hopefully, word will trickle out. I guess that's all I can hope for.

Anyway. I have to go to PT. Wish me luck, there.
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So, this morning I got up and exercised, did tarot reading for clients, did my Patreon posts, checked on cover art design for non-fic books, and generally kicked ass before 10am. I have a few more things to do-- but the only one that HAS to be done today is folding clothes.

So, currently, the plan is to fold clothes, shower, and chill for the rest of the day. Because yeah, I kicked ass and I'm ready to relax.

I'm stupid excited about the non-fiction book stuff. Because if I play my cards right, I should be able to get a book cover done for WAY cheaper than I thought, and I can then use that cover to get the new, never-before-published books up and for sale in Feb and March. They will need edits-- and I am planning on doing those over the next couple of days-- but SQUEE for being able to get them out there!

I downloaded Calibre onto my laptop, since I am not sure how to get into the Mac desktop any longer. (I need to talk to C about that. Oops.) I also need to look at draft 2 digital, since that was the other program my former publisher recommended for non-Amazon sites. I have never even heard of it, but that's not a big deal. I was so against self-publishing, but... well. I have had several people smarter than I tell me I'm being silly for resisting, and I'm not ignoring them any more. We'll see how it goes.

For now, I'm going to start buttoning up here so I can go offline and get the clothes done and start in on my chill afternoon. :)


Jan. 2nd, 2017 02:45 pm
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So, I generally feel better after talking things out with people. Bouncing ideas off people, listening to other people's perspectives, and generally finding out how sheltered I am (sometimes) really helps. After yesterday's foo, a friend reached out to me and helped me see that it's not (just) me, it's FB, and offered some suggestions for how to make it a better tool. I think I will be implementing those ideas, once I'm feeling more like tackling it.

For the nonce, though, I want to focus on Patreon. I need to get my Patreon up and running, and hopefully get it working for me. Even if I don't reach the levels some of the people out there are at, just getting a few hundred bucks a month would REALLY help with some of the financial tensions I've been dealing with. I'm going to push myself to keep up with it no matter how I'm feeling. Fingers crossed that it will work.

Anyway. I am also working diligently on [profile] goals_workshop stuff, and that's really been awesome. She's given me other tools to work with, and I'm hoping I can motivate myself to get with it there, too.

I do need to finish up the step I'm currently working on and post it so I can figure out what to work first. I also have a bunch of phone calls I need to make tomorrow (UGH phones) and that will be a grind. Thankfully, one of the things I wanted to look into they have email. Woo for email.

For now, I need to go clean litterboxes, vacuum, and get my butt in gear for the day. Be well, everyone! <3
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Happy 2017 everyone!

I didn't plan it, but apparently I need a break from Facebook. Which is fine! I was spending way too much time just sitting, refreshing it on my phone, watching other people live their lives while I sat around and did nothing/watched TV/whatever. So, I removed the app from my phone, and I'm going to replace that wasted time with hopefully useful time. Or at least less stressful time. Because today just proved to me that FB can take anything and make it contentious. And I do not need that kind of negative energy right now. I'll give it a week and see how I feel.

I'm making plans for the new year. Things I want to accomplish. I don't think I wrote down my goals for this past year, but I did most of them. I wanted to eat better, study a foreign language, and try to find ways to combat brain fog. I am currently at 50% fluency in French (though I am still cowardly when it comes to trying to actually speak it), I went to a nutritionist and implemented her suggestions, and I have a couple of coping mechanisms that help with the brain fog.

Sadly, nothing really "fixes" it. But I have found that word puzzles, card games, and language study seem to help it. So, I'm going to keep those up. Plus, I really love Freecell. :) I had forgotten how much I love it. So, that's going to stick around.

The things I want to do for 2017 include: Set up my Patreon and get it going. Hopefully gain a bit of income from that. Refresh my website so that I can get my tarot reading business going again. Pray I haven't ruined my chances of any local pagan involvement because of stupid FB crap, because yeah, I'd like to try doing the local pagan group again.

(That last one is iffy and depends on how my health foo goes. But I'm so tired of not having a social circle here. Of course, with my luck I'll get a social circle and finally have friends and C will get a job offer somewhere halfway across the US. Then again, I think I could deal if the job offer was good enough.)

I am also implementing a mantra. Going to work on that, too. Hopefully, it'll help. And I'm digging out the old paper journal, to try to see if venting in private helps. I found my old journals from the 90s and... well. That's one big reason that I have a lot of empathy for other people. I can see, in black and white (or purple, or pink-- ye gods, I was an emo kid) exactly how emotional I was about a lot of things back then. So how can I expect other people to somehow be superhuman about dealing with their emotions?

I can't. So, I'm going to try to extend my empathy and help to them, if possible. And encourage others to do the same.

I have decided, after a lot of soul-searching, that there are some things I can't do. But what I *can* do *is* valuable, and I'm going to work on those things and try to contribute in the ways that I can. It may not be as flashy as some, and hell, it may not even be as useful. But hopefully, it'll make a difference to some people. And that's all I can ask for.

I'm also tentatively re-opening the journal. Going to try a few unlocked entries and see how that goes. I may change my mind. But it deserves a shot. Especially since I am going to be off-FB. I don't expect that a lot of FB peeps will find me here, but if they do I want them to be able to keep up.

Anyway. I'm off to check on dinner and make some plans. Be well, everyone.
miintikwa: (Default)
Name: Kara
Age: 42
Location: Florida

Describe yourself in five sentences or less: I am a bisexual, polyamorous, kinky, cat-and-dog-owning polytheistic pagan with khemetic leanings. In fact, "polyamorous" could apply to just about every part of my life. I am passionate about many things. I also have a big romantic streak, and am definitely guilty of being a pollyanna on more than one occasion.

Top 5 fandoms: Eh. "Fandom" implies involvement in the community, and I generally am too lazy/crippled for that. I used to be in the CSI: Miami fandom, but that was probably the last fandom I really got involved with. I do love things, but the amount of love and enthusiasm depends a lot on the day of the week, and whether the TV season is active or not. Eclectic is definitely the name of the game.

I mostly post about... I post about everything. I am whining a lot lately because life kind of crapped all over me. But I'll get out of that funk eventually, and then I'll probably be posting about things I like, cats, relationship stuff, and gaming.

My last three LJ posts were about... goals workshop/life, venting/life foo, and body foo. It's been a crappy, crappy December.

How often do you post? How about commenting? I post very sporadically, and I haven't really been commenting a whole lot. I would like to change that, but it's definitely going to depend on whether the health foo gets better. I still find it difficult to spend a lot of time on the computer. But, having more people around might help that! Fingers crossed.
miintikwa: (Default)
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you here in the US. And blessings of the holiday season to everyone.

I'm...struggling, as is to be expected, I suppose. I'm not really looking forward to Christmas this year. December is going to be a struggle for a lot of reasons. But, hopefully, I will make it through.

At any rate, I wish you all the best. <3

NaNo Day 7

Nov. 7th, 2016 04:54 pm
miintikwa: (Default)
Word Count 14000

Read or watched recently: Not much. I got up, did chores, took a shower, and then wrote. I wanted to get stuff done because Supergirl is tonight, and I didn't want to be cut short on writing time. So, now I can watch my show and if I get writing time afterwards, yay bonus words. If not, no big deal.

Something happy: Talked to Mom again today, and it was good. Got to hear a little bit more about her trip and that was awesome. Sadly, their puppy is not doing well, so they have to take her to the vet, but it's just allergies. Hopefully, the vet will be able to help her.

Writing progress: Got 2k already, thanks to a few hours free time. Hopefully, I'll be able to add to that later, but I don't *have* to and that's good.

What did I do yesterday: Wrote, ate good food, and watched TV. Went for a walk with C and the pup, and that was also good.

Planning: Possibly dinner out (depending on how C is feeling), definitely Supergirl, possibly more writing. Everything is nebulous, since I am not invested in plotting all the things. I am planning on some editing tomorrow (helping out W again), and lots of writing.

Some thoughts / words about anything: Fibro brain sucks. I keep forgetting things, and it is so annoying. On the plus side, BirthdayGifting has brought me awesome tea and now a coloring book! Woot! I am so happy.

For now, I am going to go get ready, since we are going Out. YAY going out! <3 <3

NaNo Day 6

Nov. 6th, 2016 10:51 pm
miintikwa: (Default)
Word Meter 12000

Read or watched recently: Football! Lots of football. Though the Bears are on a bye, and the Bucs embarrassed themselves on Thursday, there was some good football played today. I was stunned by the Packers loss, and vaguely annoyed by the Lions-Vikings game not ending in a tie.

Also watched Family Guy, and...meh. On the plus side, I avoided the news most of the day. Which, I kinda needed that break! My day was much better for not having watched the news.

Something happy: Talked to Mom! YAY MOM! OMG I missed her so much. She was really tired, still, and I think a bit jet lagged, so we didn't talk much. Hopefully over the next few days we can catch up. Fingers crossed.

Writing progress: 12k! And I finished story 1 at last. So, I started story 2, and I had this whole idea in my head that after two paragraphs COMPLETELY CHANGED. Whee. I'll need to figure out where this is going quickly. But, y'know, I'm ok with it.

What did I do yesterday: Things. And stuff. And lots of TV and vegging, which was nice.

Planning: Tomorrow being Monday, it is Chore Day. So, I am planning on cleaning the litter boxes, vacuuming, washing dishes, cooking, and a few other things I forget. (They're all written on the fridge.) I got the clothes put away today, so that's done. Hopefully, doing all the things tomorrow will still allow me writing time. Because I also need to write. :)

Some thoughts / words about anything: I forgot my eldest brother's birthday. First time in AGES that I have forgotten, and I feel utterly TERRIBLE. Like, how do you forget someone's birthday when their birthday is so close to yours!?!?!?


I texted him last night at like 3am, because my failure was keeping me up. He texted me back this morning and was all nice about it, but... meh. I am a bad sister, and I feel awful about the whole matter. I just don't know what to do about it, though. It's not like he ever gets me a card or anything. Nor did I ever get him a card-- but I always used to email him or text him and just let him know I was thinking about him. So... what do you do?

I guess I will let the hindbrain work on it and if it comes up with a solution I'll go with that. But for now, feeling bad is all I have got. Oh, and making sure his birthday is in my calendar. Which, it used to be but for some reason wasn't! :/

(Stupid fibro brain.)

Anyway. Other than that, life is good. And, since it is bedtime, I'm off to try to do this whole sleeping thing. Wish me luck.
miintikwa: (Default)
Word Meter 10k

Read or watched recently: Fluffy Guy Movie, football, and got caught up on this week's @Midnight. (I think? We might have one more to watch.) Lots of fluff, because I am focused in on the writing to the point where I need the happy distraction.

Something happy: Fluffy Guy Movie was awesome. Chatted with the BFFD, and that was also awesome.

Writing progress: Hit 10k today. I am having trouble waking up, which means I don't get to writing until after I've been awake for hours, which means I'm always trying to play catch-up. *sigh* I hope this changes after I get better. Because while I have never been a "jump out of bed" type person, it doesn't usually take me HOURS to wake up. Feh. Thank goodness for coffee.

What did I do yesterday: Uhh. Wrote and did lots of other stuff that my poor, sad, fried brain cannot recall now. Because I am TIRED. Wow, I am tired.

Planning: Football, Starbucks, and writing tomorrow. :D

Some thoughts / words about anything: Mom's home! I am so giddy. She got to see the last game of the World Series because they broadcast it on the ship. I am so happy about that. We haven't caught up, because she's exhausted, but she's home and I'll get to talk to her soon. YAY.

I really missed her. For now, though, it is bedtime, and I am sleepy. Be well, everyone.

NaNo Day 4

Nov. 4th, 2016 11:11 pm
miintikwa: (Default)
Word Meter.

Read or watched recently: CUBS PARADE WOO! OMG, that was so awesome. I loved every minute of it. And, for my birthday I'm getting a hat and a t-shirt. SO EXCITE. :D

Then, after C got home, we watched Legends of Tomorrow, which was hella-heavy this week. Good show, just lots more "serious" content than I'd expected. I liked it, but I hope they don't do this every week.

Something happy: HAT! T-SHIRT! WOOHOO! YAAAAY! *bounce*

Writing progress: 2k today for a grand total of 8k, and since I had barely two hours to work, I'm super-happy with this. I have been so sick today. Man, it sucks. But all the happiness helped, and I managed to get stuff done anyway, so that was awesome. Stupid fever needs to go away, though.

What did I do yesterday: Wrote. Slept. Chatted with D. Slept more. All the sleeps. Which is nice after the insomnia, but I really hate this pattern. I would rather sleep in a reasonable manner than go from insomnia to supersomnia! :/

Planning: Uh. No clue. C hasn't said anything, so I'm hoping for sleep, rest, tea, writing, and TV. Because yeah, very tired still.

Some thoughts / words about anything: Still haven't processed things completely. I keep hoping for more writing time, but life has been pretty crazy. Hopefully, I can manage to find some time to babble and get my thoughts straight this weekend. It'd be nice, anyway.

For now, warming up my heating pad because these chills are kicking my butt, and then bed and snuggles. Be well, everyone.

NaNo Day 3.

Nov. 3rd, 2016 10:11 pm
miintikwa: (Default)
Word meter

Read or watched recently: The World Series! OMG CUBS WON! YAAAAAY. I think I lost several years off my life because of that game, but WOW was it amazeballs. I am still rather giddy and impressed with the ending.

Something happy: My server is back up! It was down for several days, after it crashed or something. (I am not entirely sure what happened, just that it was corrupted after we moved it and C fixed it.) See? Yay! :D

Writing progress: Managed to hit 6k today, but am not entirely happy with that since I really wanted more. But I only had about an hour of writing time. Though, that was mostly due to (a) staying up WAY too late last night after the WS, and (b) a belated phone call that was needful to help out a friend. So... yeah. I am unhappy that I didn't make more writing time, but at the same point in time I knew there would be days that didn't measure up.

Tomorrow is another day. With a write in that's not far from my house! I am hoping to go, provided I'm not getting sick. (I had a fever earlier, though it broke, I napped, and then I felt better. Might be just another fibro thing. We'll see.)

What did I do yesterday: Writing, watching the WS, and then being so stoked I couldn't sleep. Woo. Worth it, though. Damn that game was amazing.

Planning: Writing. All the writing. Hoping to do the write-in, fingers crossed.

Some thoughts / words about anything: Too late for this, alas. But I am hoping for the time tomorrow. We'll see.
miintikwa: (Default)
I have a lot of processing to do. The Cubs are World Series Champions. I have a friend who keeps opening their mouth and making me lose respect for them/want to pull away from them. I have a fever, and am hoping it's not going to turn into an actual illness, but is simply flare/insomnia related. BUT I have writing to do, and then may need a nap. So this is just a note to remind me to figure things out later.

Daily NaNo post later, I hope.

NaNo Day 2

Nov. 2nd, 2016 12:02 pm
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Read or watched recently: Game 6 of the World Series, the Flash, and SHIELD. Game 6 had me boggling and squeeing. I can only hope that the Cubs didn't blow their wad, and that they can do it again. Because ZOMG GAME 7 WOO!

The Flash was ok, though I am pretty tired of the "Wells is evil" trope, and I kinda felt like they pushed it last night. Though, DAMN the guy that plays HW is amazeballs. I keep flashing back to his acting in Scrubs and how scene-stealing he was there. I swear he's better now! I just adore him. I'm glad they figured out how to keep him around.

As to SHIELD, WOW. I really loved that episode and I have to wait 3 whole weeks for the next one noooooooooo!!!!! I am grumpy about that. SO GOOD. SHIELD is totally my show. And last night wins all the snark awards. :D <3

Something happy: Needy, snuggly tortie is needy and snuggly. :D She definitely wants me to get to bed so she can snuggle and nap with me. Which is next on the agenda-- probably a 3-ish hour nap, and hopefully that'll be short enough that I'll be able to sleep tonight, and long enough that I won't be brain dead and stumbling over my words.

Fingers crossed.

Writing progress: 4K and then some for now. I am planning on writing more this evening, hopefully. The story is really popping and drawing me along, so yay!

What did I do yesterday: Watched TV, wrote, and then tossed and turned most of the night. I wrote a little, updated the big laptop drivers, and meal prepped for today's crock pot meal. I was very pleased that I managed to stick the crock pot meal in the pot at 7am. It'll cook all day and be delicious by dinner time, and I don't have to worry about it! Woot!

Planning: Nap. Writing. Dinner. World Series Game 7.

Some thoughts / words about anything: Hi. I have a rant. It is rant time. Are you ready? Language warning. Because I am MAD.

Insomnia really sucks. But man, do I HATE it when people tell you "oh, all you have to do is [x] and your insomnia will go away!" Because DUDE. DO YOU REALLY THINK I HAVEN'T TRIED EVERY FUCKING THING? I have had insomnia since I was a KID. One of my earliest memories is laying awake and being tired but unable to sleep, and this had to be before I had turned 6 because I remember hearing my dad come home and thinking "oh, at least I can say goodnight to him!" My dad moved out before I turned 7. So...

I have meds. Sometimes, even when I take the meds, they don't work. Lunesta, Ambien, Halcion. I've tried 'em. They don't work as well as plain old Benadryl. But even Benadryl fails me sometimes. (Literally the ONLY med that I have never had a problem with? NyQuil. But who wants to take COMA MED every time they can't fall asleep? Because it is COMA TIEM with NyQuil. And good luck waking up.)

I have routines. I practice good sleep hygiene. I do not do anything but sleep in my bed. I go to bed every night at the same time. I usually don't mess with my phone once I'm in bed. (I fail, because I am human. And also because I sometimes forget to put my phone on do not disturb. But I try!) I don't usually nap during the day. (Today is an exception because I didn't sleep last night.) I avoid caffeine after noon, usually. (Sometimes I unbend to 2pm. But I almost never have caffeine after lunch.) Etc, etc, etc. I know all the things. I really do. But sometimes they don't help. Sometimes it's just sleep fail, and nothing anyone does can change that.

After 40+ years, I've learned to recognize the signs. I know how this works, honest!

Sometimes, sleep is an elusive thing, and that's ok. I know how to deal, and I deal really well. I'm going to nap today. I will likely have trouble staying awake tonight. I am ok with that. Tonight, I'll sleep. And tomorrow, I'll see. Sometimes, one night of laying awake fixes the problem. Sometimes, it doesn't. And that's ok, too. If I'm really tired, or if I have things to do, I will take meds. But most of the time, just waiting it out fixes it, and I sleep again for a nice, long stretch.

Believe me when I say "I've tried your remedy." And just let it go. We'll both be happier.

For now, I go nap. <3 Be well, everyone.


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She talks to Owls

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